The month of December is an especially reflective time for me – Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s and my birthday all hit within about a 30-day span. Another year older, another wiser, another year to reflect on life and the way the road ahead seems to be going.
My pastor once gave a fantastic sermon on marriage, in which he preached on the power of expectation. The problem, he argued, is when we come to expect certain things from our spouse – cleaning the house, fixing a car, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, mowing the lawn – and they become “required” or assumed. When these things become expected, he pointed out, the spouse can no longer show their love by doing them. When it’s taken for granted that a husband is going to work long hours to support his family, he can no longer show his love by doing it – he can only break even in his wife’s eyes. Likewise, when a wife is expected to cook the meals, wash the clothes, clean the house, etc., bathing the kids is no longer seen as an act of love, but a duty. Showing love, therefore becomes, “…and then what?” Sure you’ve done all that, but what are you going to do on top of that to show me that you love me? Continue reading…